C + C = C²

A couple weekends back, Chris & I met with our caterers and tasted the menu for the reception.  It was probably the only time we’ll get to eat the food and remember it, since everyone says we’ll be too overwhelmed on the day of to eat, let alone enjoy.  So we met, we savored, and we swooned; and now we have a whole new problem of trying to decide if we don’t want to add more tasty trinkets to the spread.

Which is a rather pleasant problem to have.  I have to say, it’s a huge relief to try the food an know that it’s the kind of fare that everyone is going to love, gourmets and gourmands alike.  The smoked mozzarella lasagna so good, and so rich, it could be sleeting ice and 4 degrees outside, but it would make you feel warm and cozy.  I don’t want to say too much else, as I don’t want to inflate expectations beyond the attainable, but I’ll just say this: I’m not sure that would even be possible.

We still have to settle the matter of cake.  Chris & I love apple fritters; when he first came to see me in Portland, we walked to New Seasons those Saturday mornings for a couple doughnuts to eat with our coffee.  So, when we first started discussing (ridiculous) cake ideas, the fritter idea kind of stuck.  We were thinking have them fused together, like Hawaiian sweet bread, and all our guests could “break bread” with each other.  Then someone told me about the traditional French wedding cake, the pièce montée, which is a heap of creme puffs stacked in a pyramid, held together with chocolate icing and sometimes drizzled over with caramel sauce.  A friend once told me, “Of course you like French toast! It’s French!” so the fact that the idea appealed to me shouldn’t be a surprise. I thought “we can do a pièce montée a l’americaine!” and stack tiny doughnut hole-sized apple fritters in a pyramid.  I called some bakeries to see if it was possible.

The first place I called was a local joint that does lots of standard wedding cake orders, and also makes a fine fritter.  When I explained what we wanted, the response was “you want to what? I don’t think that’s possible.” I could practically smell her Shalimar turn sour over the phone.  When I asked her to verify with the baker, her follow-up call was snidely smug: “He doesn’t think it would work.” Not even a “sorry” or a “good luck.”  I think I offended her sense of propriety or even (god forbid) good taste.  I suspect she takes great pride in her ability to make life-like frosting flowers, and such a non-traditional, flower-free request left her scandalized.

So I looked around for someone who would be more open to innovation.  I don’t want to be told it is impossible for fritters, a relatively dense pastry, to be stacked in a pyramid, I want to hear how to make them more structurally sound! So I found a bakery that lives in the land of possibilities, the land of “yes;” a bakery, in fact, that may have a little problem with boundaries.  The person I spoke with was undoubtedly young, or at least sounded a little naive. He struggled to hear me above the banging machinery in the background (not sure why there should be banging machinery, but we may be working with the doughnut equivalent to Charlie & the Chocolate Factory here). After a series of “huh?” “pièce wha?” and  “you mean, like, smaller fritters stacked on bigger ones?” I explained “no, not telescoping fritters, baby fritters, fritter bits, stacked, in a pyramid.” And he answered “uhh, I don’t see why not.” Which for now is as good as a yes!

Now, if the caterers coffee is as good as the food, and I have no reason to believe it won’t be, then it will definitely be strong enough to cut through the delicious, delectable baby fritters, even after a belly warming, soul comforting serving of lasagna.  And if you can’t stomach the fritters, Chris is dying to build a trebuchet and launch something across the dancefloor; fritter balls would make good ammo.

I’d like to blame Chris for all the terrible ideas that have come up regarding our wedding, but that would be unfair.  My favorite bad idea involves releasing a swarm of bees at the end of the ceremony, where some couples would release doves or butterflies, who would then fly over the guests. It would certainly make a statement: last one to the ballroom better have their epi-pen!  I about fell out of my chair when I first imagined it.

I have had one especially good idea, however: The Favors.  I’m making a wine charm for every guest at our wedding.  How does this work, you ask?  Did you ever use Shrinky Dinks as a kid?  Me neither, but I remember seeing them on TV and being perplexed about how they worked.  The best kids’ stuff never really goes away, so I found some online.  When I did a test run, they turned out to be everything I hoped for.  They shrink down to about the size and thickness as a penny.  To make them look really nice, I discovered I would have to write backwards and not be shy with the pigments.

180-some charms could turn into a gruelling task, but I’m feeling up to it.  I found out d’s are the hardest, as we had to fix “davib” and “Teb”.  Yesterday the gold rings came in the mail. All the bits fit together and, so far, they look amazing!   And they’re much more interesting than any of the crap-favors you find on The Knot. I like the custom match book idea, but we’re not a hotel.  Maybe we’ll order some when we buy a house with a spare bedroom.

Chris insists on having open seating, and I rather agree with him, so instead of the guests finding their table assignment when they arrive, they can pick up their wine glass, claim their seat, and mingle with whomever they like.

If you don’t try to meet anybody new, though, look out.  We’ve talked about playing musical tables halfway through the reception to make everyone shift seats.

Finally, 2009 is through & we can all move on from the year of The Rat and celebrate in the year of The Tiger.  Rar!

The wedding will be on Sunday, October 10th, 2010.  It’s still 9 months away, but if you think about it, that’s only 38 weekends, which in terms of useful planning time is just over a month.

10/10/10 is significant for a number of reasons.  Because it is amusing to me, I will elaborate

1) Chris & I were born 10 days apart, and we’re both Libras. So it made sense that we got married around the same time and turned the annual “Christie-fest” into “Chris-2-fest” and draw it out over 3 weeks every year.  Maybe we’ll start our own Love Parade.

2) My parents’ 30th wedding anniversary is on October 11th.  Apparently my father has griped that nobody ever does anything for their anniversary, but he is not the kind of guy to make a fuss and throw a party on his own.  Since we’re already inviting many of the same people that would come to a party for my parents (+70-80 additional ne’er-do-wells), why not combine both celebrations into one bar tab? All in the spirit of logic and efficiency.  FYI, for anyone else wanting an anniversary party: it’s not our job to remember your anniversary. I will come to your wedding, I will buy you a gift, I will bring champagne to your party, but I will not send you a card or buy you a gift or give you call for your anniversary.  That’s between you & your spouse. I’ll call you on your birthday.

3) And the clincher: If you’re a nerd, or attached to a nerd, or just watch a lot of Big Bang Theory, you may recognize that 10.10.10 is binary.  Now, if you convert that in to decimal you get 42 which as we all know, is the Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything.  This does not mean that we have discovered the Ultimate Question, since the simultaneous existence of the Ultimate Question and the Ultimate Answer would result in the Ultimate Destruction of the universe.  We wouldn’t want that to happen.  As our wedding day, however, 10.10.10 could shed more light on the meaning of the Ultimate Answer.  42 could mean love, or family, or bacchanal.  They all seem to me like good answers to the meaning of life.

By the way, 2011: the year of The Rabbit…

And we get a Maserati.

Now, I know I can be a bit capricious, but I do feel like Chris & I put a lot of thought into this one.  There never really was another option, which is probably why it’s been such a headache.  The first boy I ever had a crush on, I kicked in the shin and ran away.  So you see how I can be when I really like something.

When we went looking at venues, we took pictures and asked a lot of questions.  We stopped by Zenith because it’s was on the way to the parents’. We were not expecting to be impressed.  We toured without a guide, took no photos, asked no questions; just walked around, opened doors and looked behind curtains.  Chris said on the spot that our friends could not see it because they would make us get married there.   What would you do when the first thing you see is this:

What we did was something like espionage.  I sent the parents out to visit.  I wrote Zenith brides and got the low down on the food and the service.  I scoped photos online. Then I looked at competitors.  While there are some places with a better price, Zenith was lower than others with a much better setting.  And we get options on our wine, so we’re not tied in to one mediocre producer.  No one can say we didn’t do our homework.

Now, you would never do your own oil changes on a Maserati, but the rest of the wedding will be DIY. Not because I love the idea of doing everything ourselves but because, in so many ways, we can do it better.  Zenith is large and elegant, and I want everything else about the wedding to be personal and unique.  It  will be our own fractured fairy tale.

Who knew choosing a place to get married would be so hard?  I suppose if I had an attention span longer than a goldfish or more patience than a hyperactive puppy, this would be easier.  But, sad to say, I don’t; not really.  Add to that the fact that I’m stoked, really squeally excited to be doing this, and you get mental mayhem. Emotional exhaustion. Poor Christopher.

It’s not like I’ve been planning a wedding since I was four.  I’ve been ready to marry Chris for a while now, but the details have all been a fantasy, and so fittingly fantastic.  I think all the guests will be feel lucky we aren’t really going to play “If you like Pina Coladas”, on loop, throughout the entire dinner.  This was seriously discussed at one point, and now appropriately set aside.  You’re welcome.

The one thing that has been decided, is that we’re having the fête in Oregon, close to my home, my family and most of our friends, with a reliable airport, and tax free shopping for all of the out-of-town guests.  But choosing a location from 400 miles away is a serious challenge.  And so I’ve become an internet zombie, searching, constantly, for the perfect venue through websites and blogs, stalking other brides (I’m a bride?) who’ve gone through the whole ordeal already, getting reviews, tips, feedback.  But since the most important criterion is the feel of the place, we can’t make any decisions until we’ve visited.  So far, we’ve seen:

Adriana Hill Ballroom: quite nice & overall adequate. It’s vast, which we haven’t decided is a asset or a drawback.  We could project stars on the blue ceiling though, which would be pretty cool. And the coordinator who comes with the place is definitely with it.

Elk Cove Vineyards: underwhelming

Grey Gables Estate: pretty, in a Miss Havasham kind of way…

McMenamin’s Grand Lodge: Actually too small to have all of you come, unless we wanted to party to end by 8pm, which we don’t.

McMenamin’s Edgefield: Perfect, but booked all next fall.  Sigh.

Wine Country Farm B&B: Really a neat place, but not it.  The owners have two Austrailian Shepherds, however, that they would like to breed.  So maybe we’ll get a puppy here.  It would be fitting, since my cat came from Willamette Valley Vineyards.

Zenith Vineyard: Droolsome.  Beautiful.  Look at the pictures…  I don’t understand why they had all the photos taken by a fish, but it’s even better in person. Definite it appeal. The Mazarati of fête locales…

And we’re still going to look at more.  God knows what will be left for 10/10/10 by then.  We got an attractive quote this week that got booked for our day the same evening.   So we may have to change the day.  Which is fine. Not ideal, but fine.  Call it the “fate factor.” If we’re supposed to get married at Zenith, it will still be available in 3 weeks time.  The Crystal Ballroom is still available, surprisingly, and they’re being very flirty.

One thing is certain, we have a  lot to learn when it comes to the “wedding surcharge”.  It’s illegal for drycleaners to charge more for a ladies shirt, but no rules on the premium that is charged anywhere once a fancy white dress is involved. Or a simple white dress even.  I wonder if we can get any deals by wearing spandex & screaming yellow.